Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Home henkeeping

Animal rights luvvies are apparently concerned that Londoners are keeping hens 'without proper training or qualifications'. Well, many years ago I had half a dozen Rhode Island Reds running in my cottage orchard, and none of them, as far as I'm aware, had any training or qualifications at all. They ate, they drank, and for nine days they would lay an egg a day then take a couple of days off before starting again. In the winter I would mix some boiled-up frost-damaged spuds, bought for pennies a sack, with some layers' mash and the girls would attack the heap with something like avian ecstasy, their little faces coated with the stuff. In summer they dozed in their dust-scrapes occasionally lunging at a passing midge.

I do recall a middle-aged Guardianista women who moved to the village, though. She acquired a 'fancy' cock and a little harem of hens, was negligent in finding eggs and inevitably before long a hen appeared with a little trail of chicks at her tail. When they began dying, she sought advice from the village daddy, a champion henkeeper. Suspecting Coccidiosis, he asked "What are you feeding them on?" "Feeding them?" she replied "but they're not off their mother yet .."


Jen packed said...

OK, I'll start...

She was an eggstremely stupid woman.

AndyB said...

My thoughts eggsactly.

Bucko said...

Stoppit with the fowl jokes

Weekend Yachtsman said...

"keeping hens 'without proper training or qualifications'."

Oh blimey, here we go again: the curse of credentialism.

In no time at all we will have registration of hens, hen passports, endless regulations and forms to fill in, prohibitions on moving hens between premises without permission from some dork with a clipboard, and so on and so on.

Didn't we just vote to get rid of all this pish?

And is this - yet again - at the instigation of lobbyists working for the battery egg industry? Or is it in fact another EU regulation that we haven't yet quite heard of?

I am sick of this whole nannying nonsense. Just f off the lot of you, and leave us alone. Please.

Demetrius said...

I googled Coccidiosis. Ugh.

Bill Sticker said...

Not feeding her Chickens? Surely the RSPCA would have had her arrested and hauled up in front of the beak.

(Ouch) I'll get me coat.