Wondering whether you should turn yourself into the police as an extreme right-wing fanatic? Here are five questions that can help you decide:-
1. I mostly read
(a) The Daily Mail
(b) Mein Kampf
(c) I can't read
2. I think Moslem immigrants should be
(a) Assimilated fully into British society
(b) Sent back to where they came from
(c) Fighting us on the streets
3. East European migrant workers are
(a) Cheap and reliable labour
(b) An EU plot to destroy Britain
(c) Taking our women
4. Christianity is
(a) The bedrock of European civilisation
(b) A delusion about the sky-fairy
(c) Poofs, innit?
5. The ballot-box or the H&K?
(a) The ballot-box
(b) The Heckler & Koch
(c) KFC Bucket Box, please
Mostly 'a's - You're an absolutely normal middle-Englander and have seriously thought about buying string-back driving gloves from the Daily Express readers' offers. The backbone of the nation.
Mostly 'b's - You're a disturbed individual living a fantasy life, a 'Walt', who has failed to achieve any success in life at all and should immediately consider surrendering yourself to the police
Mostly 'c's - As a probable member of the BNP you present a minimum threat to national security. You have the flag of St George hanging from your bedroom window and subscribe to satellite TV for the football. You shout in the pub.