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Tuesday, 15 July 2014

More Methodists and Vegetarians for Cabinet posts

In an effort to make the cabinet more representative of the British population, Prime Minister David Cameron is to promote at least two vegetarians and a Methodist into Cabinet posts to replace the omnivores and CofE Cabinet ministers who have just been sacked. The Cabinet already has sufficient atheists, left-handers and people with red hair. Homosexuals, dyslexics and people who don't like fish are also already sufficiently well represented. 

Amongst the vegetarians tipped for Cabinet places are Fiona Strewth-Jumper, MP for Surrey Central and Hugo Dimn, member for Old Middlesex. Ms Strewth-Jumper (Roedean and St Hildas) studied cordon-bleu cookery in Switzerland at private school before becoming an MP, and Mr Dimn, whose family farm five thousand acres in the Home Counties, reached the rank of first lieutenant in the Coldstream Guards before entering Parliament, and has seen duty guarding the Tower of London at night. He is tipped as the new Foreign Secretary.

The Prime Minister's spokesman said "Mr Cameron is determined to make the Cabinet more inclusive and representative of a diverse Britain, with members drawn not just from Eton but from all the major public schools." 


Mike Spilligan said...

It's all about getting more wimmin into the Cabinet, that coterie of decision makers who decide that what Cameron says is best for us all.
Well, DC, it won't work, because the woman on top of the Clapham omnibus isn't as gullible as you think - or, more succinctly - isn't as gullible as you.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

Very funny, but I gather he has sacked Owen Paterson, who was the only person in the UK government who actually understood what happened in the Somerset levels last winter, and was prepared to do something about it.

I rather wonder whether the EU told Cameron to get rid of him, because he wasn't toeing the EU line correctly...

john miller said...

It's a bit depressing that a Prime Minister is assembling a Cabinet using the same principles as I used when I was 5, confronted by a tube of Smarties...

Visc said...

WY whilst Patterson may have understood the Levels he had the serious stench of someone who bought. The many of his pronouncements oh so similar to those of many large corporate lobbyists. A scrote and an idiot imho, it just happened his paymasters just weren't the EU, that doesnt give him right.

G. Tingey said...

Very funny & totally untrue.
I miss Gove
As (amongst other things) an ex-teacher, Gove was earnestly putting the boot right in to where it needed to be applied.
Hammomnd was starting to make faint "stronger defence" noises, too - can't have that, can we?

Anonymous said...

Don't bother about ability or suitability just look at ticking all the boxes of the political correct idiots !

Great way to make sure Britain is run well and democratically !