Thursday, 9 April 2015

Election boredom

From John Lanchester in the LRB;

"I’ve never seen polls like that. The thing which really stands out is that nothing stands out. They are as flat as the flattest of flatnesses. Five months ago, on 7 October, Labour was on 34 per cent and the Tories on 32. In the latest polls, Labour are on 33 per cent and the Tories on 34. That small advantage is not stable, though. The parties are passing the tiny lead back and forth between them like dope-smokers conscientiously sharing a joint."

What could possibly enliven the ennui? I've always held that 5 year fixed terms were a mistake. Let's hope for -
  • Miliband tweets a photo of his genitals by mistake
  • Cameron is pictured gralloching a badger
  • New photos of Ed Balls wearing Nazi gear emerge
  • Black prostitute releases video of Osborne sniffing coke
  • Seb Coe pictured naked with Sam Cam  
  • Blair's chest bursts open at press conference and lizard emerges
  • Harriet Harman writes "My alien rectal ordeal" for the Sun
  • .....


Nathan Brittles said...

"Blair's chest bursts open at press conference and lizard emerges"

Hasn't that already happened?

Anonymous said...

They grind you down with repeated promises of a glorious tomorrow.

They lie.

Tomorrow is living in the smallest houses in Europe.

Tomorrow is not getting to see your doctor.

Tomorrow is sitting in a traffic jam.

Tomorrow is a wage that can't buy a tomorrow.

Tommorow is becoming a minority in your own land.

Tomorrow is when you realise they've been at it all your life.


Jeff Wood said...

Steve, today is the bleak realisation that, long ago, I knew some of these people, a few of whom reached the top or very nearly; and that they are as wretched now as they were back then.

Sebastian Weetabix said...

I am surprised after today's announcement regarding oil under Gatwick, that the furtive onanist Osborne hasn't declared "now we have oil we don't need Scotland"

There are sadly enough dickheads south of the border for it to get some traction.

Cascadian said...

The non-entities standing for election are being totally ignored, it now seems to be a poll between SamCam, Miriam and Justine.All equally detached from reality as their husbands.

The desperation is palpable, announcements of "apprenticeships" at a coffee shops, laughable nonsense, how long to learn the skills of operating a coffee machine and and a till? two hours?

I hope the UKIP vote holds and some serious damage is done to the liblabconmen. Voters should remember previous comments such as loonies and fruitcakes and severely punish the camoron

Dave_G said...

They could announce that there have been mass abuses of children in many Labour-run authorities...

or that Cameron is a proven liar and has no intention of EVER giving us a referendum on Europe...

or that mass immigration was engineered and part of a plot to destabilise this country for take-over by Europe....

you know... just a few honest to goodness home truths for a change...

Scrobs... said...

We're (In the Turrets) in a news-free month, and enjoying every minute around breakfast and drinks time!

I decided months ago where my voting cross was going, and all these silly appendages to news-drips doesn't concern me in the slightest.

Of course, if I can't sleep, the dreaded Radio 5 has to get some sort of airing, but if you don't like football or American plonkers, then it's going to be Classic FM!

Anonymous said...

Jeff Wood said @ 16:05

'Steve, today is the bleak realisation that, long ago, I knew some of these people, a few of whom reached the top or very nearly; and that they are as wretched now as they were back then.'

Thanks for the confirmation.

I hate politicians. The democratic mandate of next May's winner will be shameful, or would be if politicians had any honour, which invariably they don't. But they'll go on to say how they speak for the people - knowing that half of them probably hate their guts and another quarter couldn't give a fuck what they say.

Welcome to 'modern Britain'.


Cascadian said...

The caMORON just effectively re-nationalised the railways promising a price freeze, he also reduced every company's efficiency by mandating three days of "volunteerism", the fact that he does not know what volunteer means perhaps explains why he also does not know he is running massive deficits.
Camoron the socialist is as bad for England as milliplonker, clegg worse than both of them. Three brands of socialism-take your choice.

Ed P said...

I wonder if a staged "terrorist event" is scheduled to relieve the boredom soon. That might swing the polls towards the "law 'n'ordure" party.