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Saturday, 27 July 2013

Hell near for Hoogstraten

The Mail runs a piece this morning on one of the most loathsome pieces of ordure ever spawned on these islands - the thug Hoogstraten. I have nothing to add to the fine demolition job done by the paper except to observe that, at 68, all the pains of Hell are nearing for this monstrous man, whom I hope is kept awake at night by the knowledge of his own foulness.

Thursday, 25 July 2013

Banks, Big Pharma and Corporates are crims shock

It seems that the revelation that banks, big pharma and the international corporates all indulge in deeply criminal activity is news to our MPs. SOCA, in a rare and unusual effort by Parliament to exercise control over these semi-detached part of the State, has been compelled to reveal evidence that the big corporates employed criminals and criminal methods thinly disguised as 'private investigators' to carry out a plethora of criminal acts against individuals.

The banks, pharma companies and corporates who used the criminal 'investigators' were not alone; SOCA's interest came from the fact that organised crime used the same criminal methods and the same criminal operators as your bank. "I can do your phone tap later today, mate; as it happens I've got a burglary to do in W11 for a bank"

One of the key reasons that parts of our secret State are so reluctant to expose the activities of this criminal mileau to the light is that our intelligence services are also undoubtedly dependent on them to carry out a host of 'black' operations with deniability and no links to the official spooks. Cops on specialist squads who are wannabee spooks have also undoubtedly sought to use the same methods. And not a few of the criminal 'investigators' will be ex-cops - retired or forced out for disciplinary reasons. So it's actually "I can do your phone tap later today, mate; as it happens I've got a burglary to do in W11 for a bank and a spycam to plant up that way for the Vauxhall boys"

Even if I'm prepared to temporarily overlook the needs of the intelligence organisations, as a special case, the police and it's weird and wonderful offshoots, organised criminals and the big corporates should be treated no differently from offending journalists if they use such methods - that means dawn raids, lengthy questioning, widespread arrests and criminal charges.

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

HRH the Marquis of Coton

Not even the republican Indie can refrain from running the only story in the news today on its front page. The birth of a child (well what did you expect? A piglet?) to their Royal Highnesses the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge is even the Guardian's lead story, with a thousand comments already, some of them chuckle-aloud amusing. The red-tops speculate widely on the young man's name, or rather speculate narrowly, veering between James, George and Charles, with never a Wayne, Darryl or Tyrone even considered. His first names are quire irrelevant, of course; he will be given about a dozen, as is normal. No, it's his title that will be critical. As the son of a duke he will be a marquis of course, but taking his title from where exactly in his father's honour? Rupert Brooke may help;
For Cambridge people rarely smile,
Being urban, squat, and packed with guile;
And Royston men in the far South
Are black and fierce and strange of mouth;
At Over they fling oaths at one,
And worse than oaths at Trumpington,
And Ditton girls are mean and dirty,
And there's none in Harston under thirty,
And folks in Shelford and those parts
Have twisted lips and twisted hearts,
And Barton men make Cockney rhymes,
And Coton's full of nameless crimes,
And things are done you'd not believe
At Madingley on Christmas Eve.
Strong men have run for miles and miles,
When one from Cherry Hinton smiles;
Strong men have blanched, and shot their wives,
Rather than send them to St. Ives;
Strong men have cried like babes, bydam,
To hear what happened at Babraham.
And there you have it. For a United Kingdom with such a plethora of laws that not even the Police can keep track of them, with crimes so foul that not even the Prime Minister can name them publicly, there can be only one choice:- let's welcome his Royal Highness the Marquis of Coton to court.  

Monday, 22 July 2013

Cameron the porn crusader

The walls of Herculaneum are covered with vile pornography depicting sexual acts of amazing and imaginative depravity, painted into wet plaster with rare care and skill some 2,000 years ago. And the camera hadn't been invented for five minutes in the 1850's before it was being used to capture unfortunate young women who had forgotten to put any clothes on. Muybridge had hardly let the silver nitrate dry on his stop-action galloping horse pics before an assistant was using the technique to capture a creature with two backs; the polaroid Land camera's popularity owed little to instant photos of family birthday parties, VHS won over Betamax becsuse of Californian pornography and indeed it is estimated that one minute in three spent on the interweb is spent watching porn.

Cameron wants to draw a distinction between 'good' porn and 'bad' porn, in other words to regulate international porn on the internet in conformity with UK laws on sexual behaviour. Never mind that sex with a Turbot is legal in Kazakhstan, or miffling is permitted after dark in Tashkent. Oh well, good luck to him.