Head-choppers release statement on Khashoggi murder

From the desk of the Chief Head Chopper (advisor: Mr Barrister Tony Blair)

"Mr Khashoggi came to the consulate to straighten out a visa matter. Unfortunately, after he was locked in the reception room, he took fright at a number of Saudi butchers attending purely in a ceremonial role, dressed in their colourful tribal costume of forensic overalls, masks and bone-saws. Mr Khashoggi unfortunately panicked and in his attempts to open the locked door, struggled with two security heavies who restrained him for his own safety. It was at that point that Mr Khashoggi stumbled against a head-chopping sword and regrettably amputated his fingers. Whilst attempting to administer first aid, the butchers inadvertently began to dismember him from the legs upwards. Mr Khashoggi did not survive the lamentable accident.

Lessons have been learned. The butchers are being sent for first-aid retraining." 

Martin Rowson in the Guardian  - Treason May and her Shitshow ticket an' all

May's stupidity has screwed the negotiations from the start.

Mrs May caved in to Brussels from Day One. There are many who believe it has all been a deliberate plot - a conspiracy to wreck Brexit. I don't think so. I think it is rather the stubborn stupidity of a woman who values her abilities far above what they're worth. If I could buy Mrs May's strategic appreciation for it's market value and sell it for what she herself reckons it's worth, I'd make my fortune. Excluding the few wise heads in the FCO, her own cabinet and a willing battalion of external experts from the Brexit process and using instead her self-deluding small team of ditherers, incompetents, fools, cowards, Quislings and Treasury dullards, May's complicit dags, she conceded to the EU on every point. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

She's not fit to be Prime Minister of Great Britain. She's not fit to run a whelk stall.

Now she's faced with an impasse - either the UK stays part of the customs union for ever, a Satrap, vassal state, kow-towing to the anti-democracy that is the EU, or we split the Union. 

There's a third option. Screw them. No deal, and pick the bones out of that. 

Get rid of that Rasputin idiot Robbins. Let the Cabinet take charge. Keep the stupid woman as a figurehead, at least until next year; load her with bad-taste costume jewels and ridiculous, asinine shoes, but never, ever let her speak again.

Mandarin boss Sly Sedwill confuses with false equivalents

Sly chief mandarin Mark Sedwill is feeling a little public heat against his too-powerful central Statist mandarinate. Dominic Raab's boss Oliver Robbins in particular was excoriated by MPs frustrated that parliamentary democracy is being trumped by Sly Sedwill's unelected pro-EU consiglieri and are saying so openly for the first time.

Of course, as a diligent civil servant unable to answer back at criticism, the first thing Sly Sedwill does is write a letter to the Times warning critics of the mandarins to 'back off'. Or what? An invitation to journalists to the Cabinet Office building, where a forensic scientist and a team armed with electric bone-saws are waiting?  Remember, it is Sedwill and his cabal who are so cosy with both the EU and the KSA - against this nation's interests. Who exactly do they work for?

Sedwill can't resist raising a false equivalent. MPs and blogs such as this have criticised Robbins and Remoaner mandarins. The Head of HMRC has received a death threat from a nutter. Sedwill lost no time in linking these separate events in creating a false equivalent - “However, the anonymous sources on whose sniping it also draws should be ashamed of themselves, especially in a week when another senior civil servant reported having been threatened because of comments about Brexit implementation. This has to stop". Yep, straight from the Jo Cox school of "Jo was murdered by a raving nutter, therefore everyone who voted Brexit is a murderer". 

How the Hell has our civil service gone from a Rolls Royce to this dreary mediocre cabal of dullards, incompetents and non-achievers? Once Brexit is over, we must turn our attention to the much-needed reform of this failing sector.

Well, our senior armed forces and intelligence figures at least are fighting back. In response to Sly Sedwill's snipey whinge, they wrote their own letter to the Times.

Sir,

Sir Mark Sedwill, the acting cabinet secretary, is wrong (letter, Oct 16). It is not critics of the once great British civil service but members of that service in No 10 who need to cease and desist. Olly Robbins and his defence adviser Alastair Brockbank have serious questions of improper conduct to answer — Brockbank for the now infamous “Kit Kat tapes” on which he was secretly recorded seemingly advocating hoodwinking the 17.4 million Britons who voted Leave while covertly working to lock UK defence and security under EU control after Brexit; Robbins for failing to control him and, it appears, sanctioning the “technical note on external security” of May 24 that echoes the tapes.

Veterans for Britain has just published a full analysis of how the prime minister’s proposals put the autonomy of our armed forces in jeopardy and risk fatally compromising our “Five Eyes” intelligence alliance. It is by far the worst aspect of the Chequers deal and hitherto has not been made clear to the British public.

The EU has no business being in defence or security at all. These are either Nato or nation-to-nation matters. The UK should withdraw all proposals to the EU in these areas. The withdrawal agreement and proposed defence treaty would keep the UK under EU power permanently after the transition period. This is not what the people voted for.

Major-General Julian Thompson RM, chairman, Veterans for Britain; Sir Richard Dearlove, former chief of the Secret Intelligence Service; Rear-Admiral Roger Lane-Nott, naval board member VfB; Professor Gwythian Prins, academic board member VfB

Well done chaps. Both barrels and 10 bore to boot. 

'Head Choppers are really cuddly bunnies' says Con

It's good to see that Con Coughlin is back on form today with a glowing tribute to the selfless and altruistic kindness of the Saudis, who have nothing but British interests at heart. In return, says Con, we owe it to those kind, gentle head-choppers to defend them in 'the court of global opinion'. 

Not only are they under threat from the wicked crane-hangers, but they are currently the subject of unwarranted Yemeni aggression, says Con. If some journalist was hamburgered, and this is by no means proven, and it's possible that persons of Saudi extraction just may have been responsible for something that may or may not have happened, is no reason to obstruct KSA in exercising its kind and selfless consideration for a number of Brits who have grown immensely wealthy from the relationship, nor should our misplaced concerns over press freedom and human rights lead us to restrict those individuals from becoming ever richer from those relationships. 

Allowing the Saudis to subvert our society, corrupt our ministeries, stuff gold into the mouths of Quisling backers, pervert our laws and distort our economy to the detriment of the vast majority of British people is a good thing, says Con, and we should not allow the alleged, unproven primitive head-chopping butchery of Mr Khashoggi to impair it.

Daily Mail shares the evidence of Saudi barbarity

 

Plausible deniability - West decides to believe Saudi lies

It was the threat of oil at $200/bbl that erased any doubts in the President's mind. King Salman told him the silly Grand Vizier had done it and the US administration decided to believe it. Of course we understand, said the US ambassador. Your Grand Vizier was just a little overzealous in questioning Mr Khashoggi and instead of waving his biro about mistakenly reached for his chopping sword and chopped the poor journalist into several box-sized pieces by accident. It was a mistake anyone could have made. Phew. Well that's kicked the recession back into 2019 and we're still hoping something will turn up. 

The Saudi king has no doubt promised the harshest punishment to be meted out to the offender - his wives are to be banned from their London and Paris shoplifting trips for a month. 

Meanwhile the Salafist fanatics continue pouring Saudi blood money into Europe to subvert Islamic moderates, continue to export Islamist imams to preach hate and death and through bribes, kickbacks and corruption have fouled those charged with preventing such abuses. The dead of 9/11 cry out from their ashpit graves for justice, for the indictment of the Saudi backers of the massacre. And the Western press puffs out its cockerel chest in boast and braggadocio about press freedom and quietly closes down all news stories about the murder of a fellow journalist by the Saudis in their Turkish consulate. 

Gentlemen, you disgust me.

Con Coughlin 'owned' by Owen Jones

Readers of this blog will know we have long regarded with some humour Con Coughlin's defence pieces in the Telegraph; too many are clearly the result of a good lunch with an MoD official and a rehash of an MoD briefing to endow it with the gloss of journalism. His columns have always been useful in stating the official MoD policy without the MoD having to, erm, state its official policy. We thought everyone knew. 

Perhaps not. In a surprising piece of actual journalism, lefty polemicist Owen Jones has just taken Coughlin's entire journalistic career apart in a series of linked posts on Twitter. Con Coughlin is reported to have deleted his twitter account in response. If true and accurate, Jones has indeed 'owned' Coughlin, in the vernacular of the young. But two questions are foremost -

- Why was this not published in the Guardian? Was the story spiked on a 'dog don't bite bitch' journy-chums basis? 

- Will Coughlin now sue? 

I shall sit down with a large glass of port and re-read the whole thing again. This kind of waspish MSM in-fighting is just the thing to round-off Sunday.

Update - from this blog

27/9/17
"It's always good to know there are some certainties in life, and Con's willingness to parrot the message of his contacts at the MoD are amongst them. Sometime, though, during his most recent lunch, he must have confused the reality..."

24/12/16
"Poor old Con Coughlin must be coughing into his Christmas cornflakes this morning. Following instructions from his FCO and MoD masters, poor old Con has being doing his best to talk-up a war with Russia all year...."

6/1/16
"Con Coughlin has earned his establishment biscuit again with a crawling encomium to the sagacity, tolerance, wisdom and mercy of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and urged us all to back the primitive head-choppers against the primitive crane-hangers..."

7/5/14
"One must have to be both wilfully stupid and amazingly gullible to get the defence correspondent's job on the Telegraph these days; EU shill Con Coughlin, perhaps repeating what some bloke told him in a bar, writes today..."

and so on.