Five things we owe to the EU, they say ...

After reading the blurb for the new multi-million House of European History in Brussels, a building that pays homage to the architectural genius of Albert Speer, here are five little known facts about European history. They must be true because Antonio Tajani, one of the EU's several unelected Presidents, said so in public last week:-

1. Conflict
The EU not only defeated the Nazis, but it was the Common Agricultural Policy that crushed the Soviet Empire in the Cold War, leading to the lifting of the iron curtain in 1989 and the freedom of the enslaved serfs of Eastern Europe. The EU has kept the peace in Europe since 1945 and no wars or conflicts have ever happened since. 

2. Information Technology
Since the EU invented the Internet in the 1990s, computer technology has transformed the world. The EU leads the globe in rolling out new phones and tablet computers and our browser Euview and operating system Eudoze lead the world in quality and function. Our search engine Archimedes has superior functionality to any other. 

3. Art and Culture
The EU are global leaders in popular music, culminating each year with the Eurovision song contest, which attracts viewers and many homosexuals from around the world. The contest sets the gold standard for modern popular music - much of which can be heard on the trams of Porto or Budapest played by young people on their Euphones!

4. Education
The EU is home to the world's highest-rated German, French and Hungarian language universities - ranking number one for both German speaking and French speaking institutions, and the EU rates number two in the world for Hungarian speaking higher education institutions.

5. Sport
During the 2016 Olympics, the EU28 took more gold, silver and bronze medals than any other competitor - beating the US, Russia and China. This demonstrates the sporting excellence in the Union that produces world class sportsmen and sportswomen. 

Although the EU is proud to disseminate this information to EU children through the Euro Museum's learning packs, my old friend the Major has some minor quibbles with the claims - which he noted as

Conflict - Since 1945 the EU has defended bugger all and has actually fomented war in the Balkans and Ukraine
IT - The EU lags both the UK and US, and now China in computer development, with not a single world class product or application achieved 
Culture - The EU ranks abysmally low in pop music and culture; their last star, Johnny Hallyday, has just died of old age
Education - The EU 27 don't have one single university in the global top 20 - the UK has 4
Sport - The EU can only claim a decent medal haul by including the UK, which alone reached 2nd place in the 2016 medals table

All eyes on Italy

Italy has learnt from Greece, and the Lega coalition has drawn a line in the sand as they move towards a showdown with the EU. The new Italian government has done all it can to prepare for savage retaliation from Brussels - bond market manipulation, threats to international banks, financial sabotage and all the rest. Don't be fooled - for the EU this is war, yes real war, just sans the tanks and artillery. The EU will now defend its remaining empire with the tenacity of the retreat from Russia after Stalingrad. 

But what the Italians may not have prepared for is the same hidden weapon that has destroyed Brexit - the enemy in our midst. We have the Euphile mandarins, Italy has the Euphile Dirigenti, a professional class of senior civil servants who run the ministries, regions, PM's office and education. There is no reason to believe that la dirigenza is any less committed to the international brotherhood of unelected bureaucrats - nor any less loyal to the capos in Brussels.  

France and Germany are at greatest risk of Italian independence - French banks own Italian debt that totals 11% of French GDP, and 46% of Germany's Target 2 trillion Euro credit balance is owed by Italy. The EU will fight like a trapped tiger to prevent Italy's freedom. 

Faceless bureaucrat

The crushing recrimination of hindsight

I was amongst those who were willing to give Mrs May a fair chance. I didn't join the chorus of warning and disapproval when she took office. Even during her crass, awkward and unconvincing election campaign, when she threw away the Conservative's remaining strength, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. It was Nick Timothy's fault, we were told, and to my shame I was prepared to believe it. Let's give her a chance.

But of course anyone who has reached even a middling senior position knows the one job you can never take a chance on is the boss. There's no backstop, no one to watch them, no one to head-off the errors. But that's exactly what we did; we accepted as Prime Minister a woman wholly and utterly unsuited to the demands of the role at this most critical juncture of the nation's life. Now as she's entirely screwed Brexit, Tim Stanley in the Telegraph (£) catalogues with the crushing recrimination of hindsight our errors;

... what we’ll end up with is a Brexit shaped by both this woman’s remarkable strength of will and her catastrophic lack of political vision.

.. She sees life as a series of challenges to be overcome in order and by careful steps. Mrs May followed the EU’s route to Brexit, which seemed reasonable enough: first we talk money, then citizenship, then Northern Ireland, then trade. But the EU set a trap – the Irish border – and Mrs May walked straight into it

... Britain did sit down with the EU, did run with a complicated European game plan and it did get screwed. The fault for this lies directly with the Prime Minister. 

... When Mrs May says that she’s delivering what the people want – as she reiterated in the House – then by any standard of our democratic tradition she is lying.

... The greatest tragedy of Mrs May’s leadership is that she has squeezed the vision out of Brexit.

... It’s a damning indictment of her colleagues for not having the courage to dump her – and of Mrs May, too, for not grasping her own limitations.

Will our grandchildren ever understand or forgive us for entrusting the nation's future to a woman so inept, so lacking in judgement, so devoid of emotional intelligence, so cerebrally unequipped and so entirely unsuited to the demands made of this great office of State? Will they forgive us for giving this destroyer of hope a chance? God forgive me, I was one of those that did.

Conservative Leadership contest

Oh Dear. It looks like those 48 letters to Graham Brady, Chair of the '22, have already been written. But hang on, chaps, I'm not ready; I re-joined the party (after an absence of about 36 years) in mid August - which means I must wait until mid November to vote. I wonder if the qualifying date is the date the contest is announced, or the date the party membership actually votes? I think we should be told. 

David Davis would do very nicely as the Leader to get us through Brexit. Council estate, grammar school, SAS TA, then business for two decades until Parliament. Keen supporter of civil liberty and a man of proven principles. If the rest of the party won't accept Boris, David, then. Which brings me on to my fantasy cabinet.

Gove as Chancellor. Chancellors don't need to be popular, just clever. Keep Hunt at Health, and Sajid at the Home Office. Move Liam Fox to the FCO and give International Trade to Penny Mordaunt. And a revival of the Prescott / Clegg role for Boris as Deputy Prime Minister. 

Hammond of course must go, as must  Gauke, Clark, and Lidington. Brandon Lewis can become Minister for Plastics without a cabinet seat, with a remit to find ways of stopping the bloody Chinese, Asians, Africans and Indians fom throwing all their waste into the great rivers. 

And of course suitable postings must be found for our dedicated public servants Oliver Robbins and Sly Sedwill, neither of whom I think will wish to remain in Whitehall.