Five things we owe to the EU, they say ...

After reading the blurb for the new multi-million House of European History in Brussels, a building that pays homage to the architectural genius of Albert Speer, here are five little known facts about European history. They must be true because Antonio Tajani, one of the EU's several unelected Presidents, said so in public last week:-

1. Conflict
The EU not only defeated the Nazis, but it was the Common Agricultural Policy that crushed the Soviet Empire in the Cold War, leading to the lifting of the iron curtain in 1989 and the freedom of the enslaved serfs of Eastern Europe. The EU has kept the peace in Europe since 1945 and no wars or conflicts have ever happened since. 

2. Information Technology
Since the EU invented the Internet in the 1990s, computer technology has transformed the world. The EU leads the globe in rolling out new phones and tablet computers and our browser Euview and operating system Eudoze lead the world in quality and function. Our search engine Archimedes has superior functionality to any other. 

3. Art and Culture
The EU are global leaders in popular music, culminating each year with the Eurovision song contest, which attracts viewers and many homosexuals from around the world. The contest sets the gold standard for modern popular music - much of which can be heard on the trams of Porto or Budapest played by young people on their Euphones!

4. Education
The EU is home to the world's highest-rated German, French and Hungarian language universities - ranking number one for both German speaking and French speaking institutions, and the EU rates number two in the world for Hungarian speaking higher education institutions.

5. Sport
During the 2016 Olympics, the EU28 took more gold, silver and bronze medals than any other competitor - beating the US, Russia and China. This demonstrates the sporting excellence in the Union that produces world class sportsmen and sportswomen. 

Although the EU is proud to disseminate this information to EU children through the Euro Museum's learning packs, my old friend the Major has some minor quibbles with the claims - which he noted as

Conflict - Since 1945 the EU has defended bugger all and has actually fomented war in the Balkans and Ukraine
IT - The EU lags both the UK and US, and now China in computer development, with not a single world class product or application achieved 
Culture - The EU ranks abysmally low in pop music and culture; their last star, Johnny Hallyday, has just died of old age
Education - The EU 27 don't have one single university in the global top 20 - the UK has 4
Sport - The EU can only claim a decent medal haul by including the UK, which alone reached 2nd place in the 2016 medals table