UKIP spawns a fourth love child

I'm really not keeping count, but the launch yesterday of 'My Brexit Party' by someone of whom one has never heard could have been mistaken for a fashion or lifestyle piece in the papers rather than a news item. Perhaps, I thought, this is the new equivalent of 'My Charity', much beloved of ladies of a certain age and income. Or perhaps a winter fundraiser, in a marquee at a suburban golf club, with vol-au-vents and Prosecco. Was I out of the loop? Was England frantic with leave socials? Were diaries full of leave book club nights, leave wine tastings, leave clay shooting days, leave fishing trips?

But no. This was the launch of yet another political party offshoot from UKIP. To be frank, apart from Britain First I was unaware there were so many - the others are Veterans and Badgers against Brussels and the Purple Blazers, apparently. My Brexit Party was apparently founded by a lady who was a UKIP spokesperson for something or other, and has only one political objective - to reach Brexit. She claims to have Nigel's support, but I haven't seen anything from the man himself endorsing this.

Well, I'm in no position to criticise. The Conservative party has already split into two, and like one of those comedy joke cars in two halves continues to roll down the motorway out of control but with the Leader in the driving position holding the halves togther with her legs. The Labour Party has become a Matryoshka doll, with more factions than a Scots Presbyterian church, but with the same condition - that two or more must be gathered together to make a conference group.

So why aren't we seeing more change at the centre? They can't be staying together 'for the sake of the voters' because by and large they prefer to ignore us. Perhaps they're having mediation, or sorting out who gets the CDs, the Le Creuset, the Party HQ and the members.

The Chuggers have spent years softening up the nation to take out direct debits for Panda fertility clinics, palm oil re-planting in Niger and a score of causes about which we don't give a fig, but the lady with the clipboard and the cleavage and the smile somehow persuaded us. We're ripe for signing up to £2 a month for a party membership - and the Corbyn Momentum faction have done just that.

But few I suspect will do so for Lucinda from Daventry or whoever she is solely because she's registered a party with Brexit in the name.