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Friday, 29 May 2020

Number 10 gets one back at Sturgeon

Nicola Sturgeon has been an online participant in the government's behind the scenes health briefings since the crisis gelled. As public health is a devolved issue, it is down to the First Ministers of Scotland and Wales to make their own announcements about changes in government policy. Sturgeon however has consistently infuriated Downing Street by stealing the PM's thunder - making her announcement in Scotland before the issue has been promulgated in London.

Yesterday, I think, Boris got his own back. The co-ordinated steering group had agreed early yesterday that  BBQs were on - limited public gatherings were to be permitted. Then the details got a bit hazy. Nicola rushed onto the airwaves to announce the policy she imagined Boris would announce later in the day, as she has done consistently. As Edinburgh Today reports, she set out Scotland's lockdown rules; "The First Minister also stressed that households must remain outside at all times and refrain from entering anyone's house" it reports. She also insisted that BBQ guests must bring their own food, though it can be grilled on a shared barbecue.

When Boris announced the English BBQ rules they were subtly different. While Scots in need of the toilet must stay in the open and use the garden, it's fine for the English to nip indoors for a sit-down. "Chief medical officer Chris Whitty confirmed that people can go to the toilet in other people's houses if they come to visit" reports the Mail. Additionally, English guests don't have to bring their own food, a move that will disappoint many parsimonious English hosts.

So as we move into the weekend, spare a thought for those elderly aunts in Scots gardens squatting behind the rhododendron with their bloomers around their ankles, clutching a pair of raw lamb cutlets, a loo roll and a bottle of Heavy, whilst their English counterparts take their comfort indoors. Hey ho.

Practising for a Scots BBQ


DeeDee99 said...

I look forward to reports of the Scottish Stasi policing the toilet activities of BBQ guests north of the border.

And will the English ones be sending out the drones to check on the number of BBQ guests gathering in backgardens across the Home Counties. Or are they going to rely on thousands of informers snitching on their neighbours?

A free country? Hardly!

Mark said...

Hmm, I see the twisted evil of the anti-christ Cummings behind this.

Burn the witch!!

Talking of subtle machiavellian manipulative genius. Did anybody see arselicker Campbell's pithy jest yesterday.

Words fail me. Truly!

Raedwald said...

Mark - Alastair's Campbell's very public mental health breakdown gives me no pleasure. He's lost all self-awareness. Parading round his living room wearing a Guards brigade tie and a General Service medal singing a parody of the national anthem is deeply disturbed behaviour, and actually demeaning to watch. He's ill, and it's painful to watch his descent, whatever monstrous things he's done.

Billy Marlene said...

My thoughts too; particularly as the gorgeous scent of a nearby BBQ and the collective chatter and laughter drifted around my neighbourhood last night.

For some absurd reason, the Powers that Be seem to think that giving impossible detail implies control and credibility. Hillarious.

Billy Marlene said...

Sorry Radders. When I saw that extraordinary performance I felt anger beyond description.

Let us stop hiding behind the mental health wall. He is a serial abuser of power (afforded to him by the broadcast media) and is simply an evil man.

He can rot in hell, and the sooner the better.

Mark said...

You're a better man than I am Radders.

Yes, he's losing it. Maybe this is guilt from the things he's done (which at least would indicate some degree of self awareness) but he never admitted these thing or publically acknowledged that he was wrong as far as I'm aware.

When I see this person, I can never get out of my head the thought of what Dr David Kelly's last moments must have been like. What was done to him to drive him that state.

Span Ows said...

Poor old Nicola, she isn't very popular despite her sterling efforts (snigger)

Re campbell, he has suffered from depression and alcoholism in the past, and spoken at length about these problems. It certainly looks like he has succumbed again and, like Billy, I do not feel sorry nor give a shit. The sooner the better. If he takes Blair more the better.

Doonhamer said...

Note also the sudden Cummings silence.
Nothing to do with her own Westminster muppet motoring from London to Skye.
But then you get an awful lot of bawbees at 72 pence for each of your English miles.
It also emerged that that principled Tory who resigned because of Cummings keeping his post after motoring from London to Durham had also jaunted from the far North of Scotland to London so he could get a better broadband.
Aye, mony a 72 mickles macks a muckle.

Dave_G said...

Just wondering at the increased death rates caused by accidentally allowing SEVEN people to attend a BBQ instead of six?

Those living on the Scottish Borders might be confused as to whether to invite 6 or 8. Maybe just take the average?

Same applies, of course, for social distancing. 2 meters and you're OK, 1 metre 99cm and it's the iron lung for you mate.....


Dave_G said...

.... and, apparently, we can travel 5 miles to enjoy some outdoor exercise too. 5 miles won't even get me to the end of my 'driveway' (it's 10 miles long).

Such policies must, surely, be adaptable to locale?

Smoking Scot said...

Peeing in public is nothing big deal. No need to compete with the dog, or cat for a place in the flower border; just let it all hang out in the street and your mates will most likely join you. The police look on with envy.

(Just Google it - pages of like stories).

So Nicola, who represents one of the most deprived areas of Scotland, is simply validating what she's seen since childhood.

Dave_G said...

I've heard that people are 'flocking' to Loch Lomond (breaking the 5 mile travel limit) but the amenities there are closed - toilets.

This means people are relieving themselves where ever and when ever they need to - p1ss1ng and sh1tt1ng over walls etc.

Covid? Dysentery maybe......

Billy Marlene said...

All we need now is a few pop-up Curry Houses around Scottish beauty spots serving dodgy Vindaloos. That should keep Wee Krankie busy sorting out the aftermath.

Mark said...

Birds do it, bees do it,
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it, let's shit outside....

Oh fuck me, this is the next thing "slebs" will be doing on twatter!

Span Ows said...

welcome to the third world