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Thursday, 24 August 2017

Pulling down statues

Those engaging in the current orgy of statue-toppling need to be aware of the rules of the sport. I publish an extract below;

"... statues in public places are classified into three classes, as below

CLASS I - Erected by dictators, rulers, absolute monarchs, depicting themselves in poses of vainglorious pomposity. E.g. Saddam Hussein. These may be torn down, abused, insulted and destroyed without further consideration

CLASS II - Erected by public subscription, private societies, arselicking subordinates, official bodies using tax money, depicting their private hero or heroine in a public place, or a living figure with whom they seek to curry favour. These should in the first instance be offered back to their erectors to be re-sited on private land. Secondly they should be moved to some obscure location out of the public eye. E.g. Embankment Gardens in London, home to naff, unwanted, outdated or obscure bits of public statuary removed from the streets. Here they are planted deep in shrub beds in which ivy can gracefully cover them. Or the huge park in Budapest at the top of Andrassy Ut, around Vajdahunyad castle, to which all the city's communist-era brutalist statuary have been moved. Marx in the woods.  

CLASS III - Erected by popular demand to honour true national heroes to commemorate victories or glorious defeats, or feats of statecraft or heroism, statues of dogs, whimsical statues having a place in public consciousness. These should under no circumstances be removed but rather protected and preserved. E.g. Nelson, Churchill in Parliament Square, Cromwell outside Westminster Palace, Greyfriars Bobby, Manikin Pis. 

Statues of classes II or III should under no circumstances be threatened by racial or religious crowds or mobs incited by specious rhetoric, incendiary bluster, mass ignorance or sheer stupidity. ..."



DeeDee99 said...

It's just another manifestation of the victim culture being cultivated in many of the ethnic minorities living in the west to excuse the fact that so many of them seem incapable of living in a civilised, non-violent, manner.

I wonder how they'd react if white people demanded the tearing down of a statue of the former terrorist, Nelson Mandela.

I think we know the answer to that one!

Raedwald said...

Ah yes .. that tacky glass fibre Mandela outside the South bank concert hall, for one, is clearly a Class II, and will in time be moved to the Lupin beds in Embankment gardens.

Cuffleyburgers said...

Radders - presumably tonue in cheek, but actually highly a germane contribution.

Poisonedchalice said...

It's just one more manifestation of generation snowflake.

Cull The Badgers said...

You should not encourage violence just to satisfy your own ego and dictate which of history's symbols should be retained or destroyed.

There have for example been many absolute monarchs in England's history and we fought a very important civil war over the principle of parliamentary democracy over the divine right of kings. You are completely wrong to call for the destruction of such. Are you advocating the despoilation of our churches where effigies of many absolute monarchs exist. You shoul withdraw your comments.

Raedwald said...

Cull TB - Yes, all effigies of dead absolute monarchs erected or installed by themselves should certainly be preserved on the grounds of miraculous occurence if nothing else ..

James Higham said...

That spirit of the north monstrosity near Gateshead could come down for a start. And anything from Hirst.

Mr Ecks said...

Karl Marx's grave certainly needs removing.

Millions dead because of that cunt.

A little brass plaque is all the bastard needs.

Cull The Badgers said...

We should all calm down. The idea that everyone with a grievance, every 'identity' must have total recognition, that every past 'oppressor' must be punished somehow is dangerous. Islamist fanatics destroyed Palmyria to remove the history they didn't like and to prevent anyone from enquiring about that past. We must not follow that path and should not joke about it.

Dave_G said...

Create mayhem.

Erect a statue to 'snowflakes' and watch as they go mental trying to decide which category it falls into and what to do about it.

Anonymous said...

I erect a statue to and of snowflakes every year, it never seems to stay up for long though!

Rossa said...

It's no wonder these people are destroying these representations of history. It appears that all of these protesters believe that they and their kind/ideology have no future, unless they can take it back by force. If they have no future then there will be nothing for them to leave behind to commemorate their past, except for their destruction. What a wasteland....perhaps the perfect epitaph!

APL said...

CULL THE BADGERS: "We should all calm down.."

In case you haven't noticed old chap, it's the left that gets hysterical and smashes shit up. We on the right are calm, just angry.

Demetrius said...

Perhaps the Manikin Pis could be relocated to The Fawcett Society.

Sackerson said...

I know we're finally on holiday when we've passed Serena de la Hey's Willow Man on the M5. Often fantasised about putting Y fronts on it or some other kind of action art/happening thing. The birds keep nicking pieces of his head, which is fine by me.

Sackerson said...

Oh, and Gormley's Iron Man in Birmingham - always wanted to strap a rocket on either side and fire it into the Council House. It's already leaning in that direction, the trajectory could be right.

terence patrick hewett said...

There is not a day that goes by that I thank the good Lord for becoming an engineer: when I look at all the f*ckbrains that what are laughably called the humanities are producing.

Ravenscar. said...

Watt Tyler, the Tolpuddle Martyrs never got one.

Nelson thought that he was a God until a sharpshooter reminded him otherwise, I think he was near to a God and I am eternally grateful he was born an Englishman.

Trafalgar was not only superb naval manoeuvring, go for the throat courage and brilliant, gunnery and seamanship - we kicked the French off the map, so, fuck what anyone else thinks - particularly those who have no skin in the game nor they who do not share our heritage and btw I am an avid abmirer of that other great lad John Churchill but I like Edmund Burke and Lord Wellesley - two wonderful Irishmen.

What we need is, a new Lord Protector - LORD Cromwell where are you in this, the blackest deepest hour of need, cry God for England she beseeches you!

Anonymous said...

In my humble opinion there are not enough memorials to the lads who left these shores in the early hours of the 6 June 1944. I live on the south coast and markers to this epic event are still too few and far between. Wish there were statues of ordinary English folk - a generic depiction would do - who worked the fields of England when it was fucking hard and life was limited to 40 years or less.

As to the general point some statues are getting a free pass over the pond:

Prominent Washington D.C. Monument to Masonic Confederate General Albert Pike is untouched

Statue of Judaic Confederate slave owner stands untouched in Florida

As they say over there "Go Figure"


Cascadian said...

A quicker and easier solution-close 50% of the universities, snowflakes only operate in crowds, independent thinking is anathema to them.

Dioclese said...

If these people hate our British heritage so much why don't they fuck off and live somewhere else?