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Friday, 27 October 2017

Decolonising Academia



TO ALL STUDENTS

Please see the important communication below sent today by the Vice-Chancellor from an important academic conference in Val d'Isère


Sam Duggs
Faculty Administrator 

The faculty of Steeple Bumstead University have considered the many representations made by our BAME, LGBTQQIP2SAA and Identity Fluid students on the matter of decolonising our various undergraduate degree courses. We accept that our teaching, based on the canons of western thought, the First and Second Enlightenment, a Judaeo-Christian historical framework and a Eurocentric cultural bias, will disadvantage many students for whom these components are not endogenous. We have therefore made the following changes:-
- A new Chair, the Hegelian Professor of Rap, has been created and we are looking across the Atlantic for suitable candidates. Tunky Dog's Ass, JXee and Nickel Cap Head have unfortunately been appointed to academic posts with tenure at Harvard, Yale and MIT respectively, so will not be available.

- The University library has been decommissioned and converted to a multi-faith Mosque in which adherents of all faiths may worship as long as they accept Islamic restrictions on their beliefs. To promote Wimmin's Rights, we have secured separate facilities for female undergraduates to keep them apart from the men. Wimmin are also encouraged to wear the veil on campus to prevent inherent and unconscious academic bias that may occur if their faces were visible and they could be individually identified.

- We are introducing a number of new texts written in English. These include  "Busted! My crack whore years" by Snaggs Turdish (123pp, large text version with illustrations) "My poetry doesn't rhyme or scan" by Inca Pointless (both sides of the A4 sheet) and "Bollocks to God" by the Bishop of Woolwich (Gay Rainbow press, 422pp, 4to).

- However, the boldest change we're making is in changing the university's use of the English language in all teaching, seminars and tutorials. English is the very symbol of a colonialist mindset, and just hearing the language used triggers many of our more sensitive students. From next term, the University will use exclusively Khoe, the most prevalent of the Khoisan click languages used in Africa, for all lectures, seminars and tutorials, and for all written assignments. With a total vocabulary of barely a thousand words, we expect this to make any writing that students are required to do much simpler. However, as it will take rather longer to explain difficult concepts, it also means cutting large parts of course content to fit the available vocabulary. We will use the Isolate syntax (|gáro = ostrich, !nábe = giraffe, kx'âa = to drink). 
Academic staff will attend crash Khoisan courses over the holiday and students are recommended to purchase the Khoe primer for the discounted price of £89.99 from the University bookshop.

I myself am attending an important academic conference in the Maldives for much of next term but will return to see the final stages of the conversion of the old earl of Bumstead's seat at Palladian Hall into the Vice Chancellor's new residence. I wish you all the very best at this exciting time of change - and  ts'ókwàna ɦatʃ'pitʃ'i as they say in Mogadishu!

Tarquin Bevan
Vice Chancellor

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Raedwald: " a Judaeo-Christian historical "

There is the crack which the prisebar has been levered.,

Our society is (or was) Christian, we generously allowed Jews to live among us, thinking they were just like us. Although they have their own homeland.

But they are not, they have radically different ideas as to how a society should be ordered.

What is the difference between Weinstein raping his way through goyim girls, and Abdul also from the middle east doing the same?

DeeDee99 said...

The Snowflakes don't seem to realise that if they allow politically active, left-wing, vocal minorities to first dictate their thought processes and now their degree course content, the "degrees" they are paying £9000pa to get will be worth the square root of diddly-squat.

Poisonedchalice said...

I'll give those snowflake students a feckin safe space! Round them all up in a lecture room; announce that they are all fired and they have all lost their rights to any tertiary education and that they can all feck off home to enjoy that particular "safe space" where they can contemplate their action for the next 40 years of their dull careers packing boxes for Amazon.

Bill Quango MP said...

weirdo alert at comment one.

Very funny piece,
And sadly,getting to close to being true.

Anonymous said...

For more of the same, please visit "The University of Bums on Seats" at http://cynicalbastards.com/ubs/ akthough it is looking a bit faded now.

Bill Quango - you don't know the half of it. I'd say that the real thing exceeds this by a country mile.

rapscallion said...

Oh Radders, you are naughty. For a moment there I thought this was a satirical piece.

It's much, much worse

Budgie said...

And the age-old "No platform for fascists" where the student union rep gets to decide who is fascist. Except it is now the university that's going mad, not just a few statist students.

Sackerson said...

@Bill Quango: the Jew-haters are still among us, I see. No cure for insanity?

Doug Shoulders said...

No company that has a business to run would employ these people. The only job they will get is one which perpetuates the madness. They’ll be back a college lecturing if they don’t get into the BBC or find a charity post.

Budgie said...

Sackerson, You are right. No matter how convoluted, they will twist any issue to achieve their anti-Jewish tirade.

Anonymous said...

Well, if you can't get the change you want change the people - and that's exactly what is being done. The emotion behind Readwald's piece is anger - he's perfectly entitled to be enraged at what is happening with academia these days. These do-gooders are enablers for the change agents imported by our politicians:

Enablers - and many change agents - are utterly hostile to our white nation, or indeed any white nation. Politician's totally misunderstand what they have done.

People are tribal. Whites are the only ones making an effort to forgo in-group preference and this is not reciprocated by any other group. The inevitable end result is political expropriation, ethnic dissolution and physical dispossession.

We, as a people, have every right to advocate for our continued existence; to peacefully live among ourselves; to live by our own values; to practice our own culture; to teach our children our history and, most importantly, to govern ourselves.

These principles should be for all of the people on the earth, and yet they're denied for one people only. Whites. To the politicians I would say yours is not a moral position.

Steve

Dave_G said...


@ anon 15:23

quite the most accurate statement of the status quo as I've ever read.

Cascadian said...

Sadly the great thrusting educational nexus that is Steeple Bumpstead U (and by-the-way whatever became of taking the piss out of Wivenhoe U?) is behind the times.

The great majority of universities have already adopted ebonics (perhaps a less refined variant of Khoe) as the franca lingua of "teechin" with predictable results, you may have noticed. Their primary study seems to be historical monument removal, though grievance studies are also still much in vogue.

These are strange times, one wonders what Frederick Douglass would make of us.

Anonymous said...

Dave_G said @ 19:23

'@ anon 15:23

quite the most accurate statement of the status quo as I've ever read.'

Believe me it pains me to write it, Dave. Our society is being dismantled.

Another example:

Locals ‘Furious’ as Vicar Bans ‘Offensive’ Onward Christian Soldiers Hymn at Remembrance Sunday Service

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2017/10/27/vicar-bans-onward-christian-soldiers-hymn-remembrance-sunday/

Steve

Dr Evil said...

Many a true word is spoken in jest. The university authorities need to grow a spine and tell these students "NO!". If they don't like the course they can go and study at some upstart poly.