Pulling down statues

Those engaging in the current orgy of statue-toppling need to be aware of the rules of the sport. I publish an extract below;

"... statues in public places are classified into three classes, as below

CLASS I - Erected by dictators, rulers, absolute monarchs, depicting themselves in poses of vainglorious pomposity. E.g. Saddam Hussein. These may be torn down, abused, insulted and destroyed without further consideration

CLASS II - Erected by public subscription, private societies, arselicking subordinates, official bodies using tax money, depicting their private hero or heroine in a public place, or a living figure with whom they seek to curry favour. These should in the first instance be offered back to their erectors to be re-sited on private land. Secondly they should be moved to some obscure location out of the public eye. E.g. Embankment Gardens in London, home to naff, unwanted, outdated or obscure bits of public statuary removed from the streets. Here they are planted deep in shrub beds in which ivy can gracefully cover them. Or the huge park in Budapest at the top of Andrassy Ut, around Vajdahunyad castle, to which all the city's communist-era brutalist statuary have been moved. Marx in the woods.  

CLASS III - Erected by popular demand to honour true national heroes to commemorate victories or glorious defeats, or feats of statecraft or heroism, statues of dogs, whimsical statues having a place in public consciousness. These should under no circumstances be removed but rather protected and preserved. E.g. Nelson, Churchill in Parliament Square, Cromwell outside Westminster Palace, Greyfriars Bobby, Manikin Pis. 

Statues of classes II or III should under no circumstances be threatened by racial or religious crowds or mobs incited by specious rhetoric, incendiary bluster, mass ignorance or sheer stupidity. ..."

There.