Cookie Notice

WE LOVE THE NATIONS OF EUROPE
However, this blog is a US service and this site uses cookies from Google to deliver its services and analyze traffic. Your IP address and user-agent are shared with Google along with performance and security metrics to ensure quality of service, generate usage statistics, and to detect and address abuse.

Saturday, 27 October 2018

Five things we owe to the EU, they say ...

After reading the blurb for the new multi-million House of European History in Brussels, a building that pays homage to the architectural genius of Albert Speer, here are five little known facts about European history. They must be true because Antonio Tajani, one of the EU's several unelected Presidents, said so in public last week:-

1. Conflict
The EU not only defeated the Nazis, but it was the Common Agricultural Policy that crushed the Soviet Empire in the Cold War, leading to the lifting of the iron curtain in 1989 and the freedom of the enslaved serfs of Eastern Europe. The EU has kept the peace in Europe since 1945 and no wars or conflicts have ever happened since. 

2. Information Technology
Since the EU invented the Internet in the 1990s, computer technology has transformed the world. The EU leads the globe in rolling out new phones and tablet computers and our browser Euview and operating system Eudoze lead the world in quality and function. Our search engine Archimedes has superior functionality to any other. 

3. Art and Culture
The EU are global leaders in popular music, culminating each year with the Eurovision song contest, which attracts viewers and many homosexuals from around the world. The contest sets the gold standard for modern popular music - much of which can be heard on the trams of Porto or Budapest played by young people on their Euphones!

4. Education
The EU is home to the world's highest-rated German, French and Hungarian language universities - ranking number one for both German speaking and French speaking institutions, and the EU rates number two in the world for Hungarian speaking higher education institutions.

5. Sport
During the 2016 Olympics, the EU28 took more gold, silver and bronze medals than any other competitor - beating the US, Russia and China. This demonstrates the sporting excellence in the Union that produces world class sportsmen and sportswomen. 

Although the EU is proud to disseminate this information to EU children through the Euro Museum's learning packs, my old friend the Major has some minor quibbles with the claims - which he noted as

Conflict - Since 1945 the EU has defended bugger all and has actually fomented war in the Balkans and Ukraine
IT - The EU lags both the UK and US, and now China in computer development, with not a single world class product or application achieved 
Culture - The EU ranks abysmally low in pop music and culture; their last star, Johnny Hallyday, has just died of old age
Education - The EU 27 don't have one single university in the global top 20 - the UK has 4
Sport - The EU can only claim a decent medal haul by including the UK, which alone reached 2nd place in the 2016 medals table

17 comments:

right-writes said...

If only it was whimsy Raedwald!

Our government types sell it as truth....

... as our waxen faced leaders stare balefully down at us from on high.

And Jeremy's people support them.

john cheshire said...

Hasn't the EU also given us democracy?

Dave_G said...


What about rule making? - are they not the global champions at passing them down?

Or vote-avoidance? Undisputed (outside Pol Pots Cambodia) champions at ignoring the will of the people?

There are some things the EU genuinely excel at.....

SeekeroftheTruth said...

You aren't given democracy - you have to keep fighting for it.
OT, but only slightly, I was very taken with Catherine Blaiklock on the latest Dellers podcast. There's a gal who would not be a waste of a vote!

James Higham said...

Well done as usual, Radders. Shall steal, also as usual, later.

DiscoveredJoys said...

They will miss us when we are gone and the nature of our treatment during the leaving process will determine whether we are bothered or not.

terence patrick hewett said...

They triggered the invention of the Modern English Language by invading us in 1066 - that went well for them...

Hector Drummond, Vile Novelist said...

I hate to differ, Raedwald, but number 4 is still true, isn't it? Facts don't lie.

Anonymous said...

Was it Johnny Halliday, or Charles Aznavour?

Anonymous said...

https://youtu.be/Nh11RYjheUY

here's a man who understands.

Raedwald said...

Hector - yes, number 4 is true - the EU also has, as far as I know, the world's best ranked Serbo-croat, Bulgarian and Swedish speaking universities. And for anyone who wants to complete a first degree taught in Estonian, Tartu is clearly the place to go ...

Anonymous said...

What about aqueducts? What about roads?
What have the EU done for us?
These Eurocrats are so delusional and if you tell a lie often enough it becomes the truth. The bigger the lie the better.
Jaded.

Anonymous said...

tH Parliament buildings, two plus a spare.
Presidents, six.
Official languages, 24 with number of translations from each to every other one reaching infinity.
Duty free shopping, as much as you can carry (provided you are in the club)
Income tax, minimal, see "club" above.
Receipts needed for expense claim s? Oh come on, he serious.

Budgie said...

Raedwald, The EU gave us the NHS . . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIjUESuwqes

anon 2 said...

I'd never heard of Johnny Halliday and couldn't understand why a euro would have an English name . . . So I checked and found out he was the Frogulastic emulation of Elvis.
How original is that!?!!

John Brown said...

The EU will also be the first western country to protect its citizens from reading what they shouldn't from the internet.

Poisonedchalice said...

Raedwald - you should have listed No 3 as No 1. The all your good readers could have got as far as "Eurovision Song Contest" very early on and pressed the delete button on the rest.