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Saturday, 20 October 2018

Head-choppers release statement on Khashoggi murder

From the desk of the Chief Head Chopper (advisor: Mr Barrister Tony Blair)

"Mr Khashoggi came to the consulate to straighten out a visa matter. Unfortunately, after he was locked in the reception room, he took fright at a number of Saudi butchers attending purely in a ceremonial role, dressed in their colourful tribal costume of forensic overalls, masks and bone-saws. Mr Khashoggi unfortunately panicked and in his attempts to open the locked door, struggled with two security heavies who restrained him for his own safety. It was at that point that Mr Khashoggi stumbled against a head-chopping sword and regrettably amputated his fingers. Whilst attempting to administer first aid, the butchers inadvertently began to dismember him from the legs upwards. Mr Khashoggi did not survive the lamentable accident.

Lessons have been learned. The butchers are being sent for first-aid retraining." 

Martin Rowson in the Guardian  - Treason May and her Shitshow ticket an' all


Matt said...

I'm convinced - or at least enough to keep the money/oil flowing.

rapscallion said...

Reminds me of Blackadder Series 3 episode 1 "Dish and Dishonesty" where Mr Hannah described the previous returning officer as having "accidentaly brutally stabbed himself in the stomach whilst shaving"

Thud said...

Their version of accepting guilt is as good as it will get, time to move on.If I was to pick a fight with KSA there are plenty of better reasons than them killing one of their citizens who being a supporter of the muslim brotherhood is no great loss.

Bill Quango MP said...

Never shave with an autopsy saw.

Tony Harrison said...

Very good. But can someone please explain why there is such a fuss about this incident? How many other individuals were done away with the same day, by murderous and/or tyrannical regimes? We already knew the KSA was a desert kingdom of goat-shaggers suddenly become rich beyond the dreams of Croesus but beneath the Gucci & Ferrari stuff still a bunch of feudal murderers. They just demonstrated it again, by killing one of their own. Khashoggi seems to have had some sort of relationship with Osama Bin Laden. In any case, why on earth might we be interested or involved or liable to make bold protests about 'uman rights etc? It beats me.

Raedwald said...

Erm, because we can.


Dave_G said...

You got it right there Radders..... because we can (make hay out of it, that is).

This despicable act of murder is going to be used to extract every possible concession from KSA and screw the victim - in fact he's probably become a massive 'help' to the West to keep oil prices down.

The rank hypocrisy of it all sickens any reasoned person.

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Anonymous said...

You have to wonder why this guy thought it safe to visit the Embassy. No documents are that important.

John M said...

If someone hadn't been killed this story would be on the far side of ridiculous. The Saudi regime has had almost two weeks to invent some kind of cover story for this and all they can come up with is "he started a punch up in which he died"? I mean pull the other one, it's got bells attached to it.

And even that miserable excuse still hasn't produced an answer to where the body is.

These people are an insult to the intelligence, as indeed has Pompeo and Trump's almost comedic attempts to try and cover for them.

Cascadian said...

And yet the Saudis statement seems quite rational when compared to MsDisMays recent wishful-thinking efforts.

The western press ability to believe everything the Turks (and Iranians) have contributed despite their recent histories tells me we are in another Steele/Simpson/Fusion fabrication of the truth.

Dave_G said...

*some functions will cease to work after limb amputation

I thought that was mandatory for the purchase of ALL Apple products i.e. 'arm and a leg'....